To protect the innocent and my kids

I'll be talking about my kids, since I spend a lot of time with them and frequently find them amusing. I'll also be talking about my spouse. But not because we spend a lot of time together. Law school has made that not so possible lately. At any rate, for the sake of ease and a perhaps irrational fear of what an open space the internet is, I'll be using first initials for my family members.

Our cast of characters are as follows:

C (yours truly)
D (the spouse)
K1 (oldest kid)
K2 (second kid)
E (smack dab in the middle kid)
S (second youngest)
M (the "baby")